I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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