Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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