There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
