im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
