I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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