Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
