maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize