You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
