Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
