If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize