thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
