I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
