oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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