fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
