You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
