the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
