Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
