So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
