Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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