so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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