How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
