I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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