he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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