it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
