So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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