idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
