This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
They are going to name an STD after you.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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