i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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