so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
