it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
