I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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