just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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