I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
