That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
