Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
