ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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