I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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