I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
