Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
