Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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