David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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