We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
