i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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