The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
