She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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