your room smells of hookers.
And success
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
