it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
