if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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