someone threw a dead crab at me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
