I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
