i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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