I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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